Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Blueberry Muffins? A case in poor product packaging and cooking instructions

I love blueberry muffins.  I almost never allow myself to make or buy them because I'm constantly in danger of switching my entire diet to consist solely of those delicious little baked lumps of heaven.   This week, however, as I was strolling the baking aisle looking for some vanilla extract, I passed a little packaging of pre-made blueberry muffin mix for $1...and I couldn't resist. 
Just add water?  I can do that!  Blueberry goodness, here I come!

Well, my husband and I had a pretty late night last night playing Dead of Winter, a zombie survival board game, with my brother-in-law.   If you're a total geek like us and you like both The Walking Dead and ridiculously complicated, fantastically exciting board games you should really look it up.  It's addicting.  Anyways, back to the story at hand!  We had a late night and I can't sleep in much, no matter how late I'm up, so this morning I woke up and immediately thought, "Oh! Muffins!"

Little did I know...

I'm really not a great cook.  I want to be, but I always have to follow the directions for just about everything I cook.  So, I whipped out this little bag of mix and started looking for instructions.

Ah, here we go!
Ok, so, I need 1/2 cup of water... Wait, where does it tell me how much mix to use?  Oh, Ok, I guess I can just look at the serving size, right?  1/4 cup mix.  That seems like an awful lot of water for only 1/4 cup mix, but I trust you, Betty Crocker.
Um... no.
This is clearly wrong.  These muffins are not only so watery I can basically see through them, but when I was pouring them into the tin all of the "blueberries" ended up in the top left muffin.  -.-
Betty Crocker, seriously?  Also, those pellets are not blueberries.

For kicks and giggles I baked them anyway, for the suggested amount of time.
So... Delicious?
(Note only one muffin has "blueberries")
Well, clearly that didn't work.  So, in order to get my fix and have some actually edible muffins, I fixed the ratio from 1/2 water: 1/4 mix... to the exact opposite.  Guess what!
They came out perfect!

As a side note, the packaging very considerately warns:
"Do not eat raw muffin batter"
Well, sorry, Betty Crocker, but you also told me to bake the worst muffins ever.  I'll take my chances.
Don't tell me what to do! 
Sorry for the terrifying picture, my morning has only consisted of making "muffins" and blogging so I haven't tried to tame the raging sea that is my hair yet.

And now it's time for tea and muffins.



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