Wednesday, September 5, 2012

No Robots Here!

I like to think of myself as a creatures of many hobbies and next to no habits.

My aversion to the word "habit" is not necessarily because I think that habits are a bad thing, but rather that when I find myself falling into a habit I somehow stop feeling human.  Somewhere deep inside my mind is this fear, I suppose, that if I allow habits to stack up like the projects in my room eventually every day will just be a habit!  And when the whole day is a habit what's left to explore?

Then there's the whole problem of how difficult some habits are to break.  I mean, just think!  If one habit starts and then another stacks on top of that one, by the time you realize that you're day is literally just going through the motion of a million habits you're too busy trying to keep up with them all that you can't stop to make sure they're even necessary!
Now, I won't argue that creatures of habit can't get things done.  In fact, I believe quite the contrary.  Those of our human race who stick firmly to their "daily routine" are often the most productive.  I admit that about them, but I cannot conform.  You see, even with the promise of productivity and the comfort of being able to get up and know pretty well what the layout of your day is like...I just can't give up the chaos of living without habits.

Maybe I'm crazy -- something I wonder about quite often, -- but I love the little bit of insanity that comes with exploring each day as its own new entity.  To get up and not have a clue what each day will hold, aside from the running around campus to classes and such, is a thrill that I can't give up for the sake of knowing I'll get everything I need done by a reasonable time so that I can get a full night of sleep.  No, thank you!  I don't want to feel like a robot, I want to see each and every part of each day as a new adventure waiting for me to jump in and chase it.  I want to explore and wander and fail and learn from it all!

I'll take my sleep deprived mornings-after, sipping my tea and staring into space.  I'll take the sudden panic of remembering I have an appointment across town in five minutes or the days where I shower far too late in the day and so wake up with crazy-hair.  I'll take the lazy mornings and the cluttered room, the random happenings and the pleasant surprises, the adventures and chaos that comes with a life without habit.


Okay, I have to admit that I do have one habit that I keep pretty consistently: I have a cup of tea every morning; however, I make an effort to switch that up sometimes by using different mugs, choosing different teas, adding cream or not...;)

Have a beautiful day, everyone!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

New Day

     It never ceases to amaze me how in just the few hours of a day one can be tossed and jostled in a vast sea of rolling emotions.
     Suppose you wake up angry.  No reason, just initially frustrated with the day for having roused you at all.  You're irritable at your alarm for rolling you out of bed and nudging you to the bathroom to try and pull some rhyme and reason into your mess of hair and sleepy face.  Perhaps the bitterness wears off as you sip your tea and gather your keys, or as you stroll across campus, or as you sit quietly in class taking notes.  Anyway, somewhere along the line, amid the many trips up and down staircases, you discover you're no longer angry, just embarrassed.
     You're a child playing a game you don't quite understand.  Quietly you toy with the pieces, harmlessly wondering what significance they play in the scheme of things.   And when you're corrected in your attempts, it doesn't matter how kind words, you feel sheepish.  Shyly you put the pieces back and tuck your little hands under your legs to keep them from wandering.
     Maybe on the way home from classes it's the tune of your favorite song that brightens you, or the smell of cupcakes in the kitchen, or the furry smile of your best friend who's oh-so-glad you're home.  You shrug off a morning of sulking, still feeling the tingle of anger and the sting of foolishness, and make a real effort to give today a chance.  During the chaos of homework, family, chores, facebook, and general life, you manage to find laughter hiding away in little nooks and crannies and the evening is pleasant, happy even.
     And as you tuck everything away for the night, crawl under the covers, and sigh because you've survived another day, you feel peace.  Maybe it's not the most overwhelming or prominent of the emotions still fluttering around in you somewhere, but it's there.  Calm, quiet, peace.  Today has only lasted as long as it has lasted and tomorrow is new and bright and beautiful.

"Great is His faithfulness; His mercies are new every morning."